Breastfeeding

I have been going back and forth for a while now about whether I wanted to post this blog. It's a pretty sensitive subject for me, but maybe there is someone out there that needs to read this today, or maybe I myself will need to read it again at some point. 

It's been 49 days since I breastfed Seth. 

December 9th, 2015 was the last moment that him and I had and I didn't even know it at the time. 

A close friend asked me a few months into motherhood what my favorite part of being a Mom was and without hesitating I responded with, breastfeeding. Don't get me wrong, the first week was hell. It hurts and sometimes you feel like all your good for is your milk. If anyone ever told you that breastfeeding was going to be easy, I would laugh at them - quite literally. But, it was and is the most beautiful, special moment of motherhood that I have experienced thus far. I am thankful that we got 5 months as I know many moms out there can't say that much or any at all. But I am sad that I can't say we got to __ months. I long for that moment. Just one more time. 

But, my child is more important than my selfish desires. I hadn't really viewed it that way until my husband thanked me for putting Seth's needs before my own desires and then it hit me. That's exactly what needed to be done and what the Lord had given me the strength to do (with the help of countless phone calls to my mom and sister). I'm not going to get into all that we went through or what led us to the decision. It was a long, stressful road. But, as badly as I wanted it, the thing that I loved most about being a mom was now the thing that I dreaded. It was ruining my relationship with Seth and it was time to call it. He didn't think twice when we switched him over to a bottle and a week later when we made the full switch to formula he acted as if nothing had changed. For this I am thankful. I'm sure that saved me from more heartache had he fought the changes.

Do you know what the dumbest part of it all was? Did I want to breastfeed Seth? Absolutely. I wholeheartedly did and I still do. But I was afraid. I was afraid of what the world would think of me. I was embarrassed. I didn't want to go to the store and buy formula. All of the moms would see me. Because this world that we live in has labels. Ridiculous labels. They've been around forever and I've known them to be there for how thin you have to be or what color hair makes you the most beautiful, but it wasn't until I became pregnant that I found out the other mountain of labels our society has. You aren't a good mom unless you delivery your baby unmedicated, breastfeed, co-sleep, cloth diaper and refuse vaccinations. It's never ending, it's ridiculous and it's sad - and that's all i'm going to say about that. 

The topic is still sensitive, the tears are still there as is the longing, but I treasure the snuggles I get while feeding him a bottle and know deep down I made the best choice I could have for my son. 

Thank you so much Jeremy, Mom & Sarah <3 

I love you guys and couldn't have done any of it without you. 

Fun with my Dada

I get to see my Dada a lot more than I normally do when it's the weekend. This time he played blocks with me and it was so much fun..... 

He told me how much fun we will have this summer because he won't have to go to work at all. I don't really know what that means, but it sounds like a lot of fun : ) 

New recipes...

I have been trying to get creative with my recipes lately. We tend to have the same old things over and over again and when you're trying to be healthier, sometimes you need to mix things up to keep those temptations at bay. 

Slow Cooker Mozzarella Stuffed Meatballs

These were absolutely delicious. I didn't have enough bread crumbs so I used half bread crumbs half oatmeal and I also used chunked mozzarella versus the string cheese. These were a last minute dinner decision so I baked them instead of doing the crockpot and we loved how crispy the oozing cheese got, so I don't think I'll be using the crockpot for them! 

Eggs Florentine

Mmmm - this was dinner last night and I'm still drooling over it. We nixed the prosciutto on top and instead put sausage in with the sauce. I also just made over easy fried eggs instead of poaching them - we aren't that fancy hahaha While I was making it I was thinking how delicious an english muffin would be under the whole thing, but since we didn't have any we did without and let me tell you - there is no english muffin needed! The tomato was absolutely delicious as skeptical as I was. 

 Avocado Chicken Salad

I love a good chicken salad recipe...especially one that is so tasty I don't need to put it on bread! Here is one just like that. I followed the recipe just as is although I doubled it and I also added a little rosemary! 

Gnocchi with Tomatoes and Mozzarella

 This one isn't exactly on the diet plan, but oh my goodness....keep it around for your next cheat meal! 

What have you had on your menu lately?! 

House Hunting

I wrote back in November about a prayer request I had. That was about our desire to get out of our apartment and into a house. We have moved every single year since being married and as exhausting as that is, I'm ready to do it one more time (at least for a few years). 

Being in an apartment isn't all it's cracked up to be! We have always had our annoyances but with Seth being here, I am so much more in-tune to them! I'm sure our neighbors can say many things about us as well since we have a baby who isn't always the quietest little guy (whether they be happy noises or sad), but I'm really just sick of it all! 

We were blessed that the guidance counselor at Jeremy's school is also a realtor. Neither one of us know anything about buying a house, so it was a little scary to think of going to somebody that we don't know, who is just looking to make money off of us. So, for the past couple months we have been getting email after email of houses that are on the market. This weekend we made a list of the ones closest to us and took a little drive to check out what the houses really looked like (pictures can be so deceiving) and what neighborhoods they were in. Out of I believe 20 houses there are 3 that we would like to see : ) We started getting very discouraged with the prices of the houses and the condition or area that they were in, but things started to pick up after a few of them. We plan to go look at the 3 we liked this weekend and check out the inside of them. Two of them are well below what we would like to spend, so that is pretty exciting. But, they don't have pictures of the inside of the houses posted online, so we are a little uneasy about what we will find! The third house is drop dead gorgeous, on the outside and inside (according to pictures) but it is at our max out price point which makes us nervous. 

So, that's where we are at with all of that....we would appreciate your continued prayers as we go down this little adventure and pray that the Lord would guide us to the house and location that He has for us! 

Too big!

It's only been two weeks since I posted about Seth's 6 month "birthday", but it feels like I already have a completely different boy on my hands!

He is officially sitting up. Bath time just became a lot more fun! 

 

We got his new cup in the mail and he is learning to love water! 

We splurged and got him a new carrier.....

The wrap we used when we was little just wasn't cutting it for us anymore. It took too long to put on, was way too hot and constricting and it didn't feel like it supported him very well anymore. I thought for sure I knew which one we wanted to get next, but after trying on 4 different ones, we ended up with the Chimparoo Trek. I absolutely LOVE it and so does Seth! It is so lightweight and comfortable which is just what we need in SC. We took it out for a couple hours this weekend and I never got sore or hot. And as much as he loves being outside, Seth just sat there and took it all in! 

When we hold onto his hands he knows exactly what he is supposed to do and just starts walking along! I know that is a really silly thing to "brag" about, but I can't even believe my eyes! What happened to my baby? He has also transitioned from three naps to two. Sigh*- how do I slow time down?!? Anyways, we went to the doctor on Saturday for his 6-month well check and he weighed in at 15 pounds 4 ounces (He was 12 pounds 11.4 ounces and we jumped from the 4th percentile to the 8th! LOL) and was 27 inches long (He was 24.75 and we jumped from the 24th percentile to the 57th!) 

I am stuck in this moment where I want him to stay little forever but yet I love watching him learn and grow! I keep telling Jeremy that I am going to miss his little gurgle talks when he actually starts saying words. And I miss when he was itty bitty and would just sleep on me forever. All the cuddles. He must have known because he fell asleep on me this morning and I soaked it in before laying him down <3 I know each stage is an adventure and brings a whole new batch of things to enjoy and I am trying really hard to be in the moment and not miss what used to be or long for what's to come! 

It's been too long...

I can't remember when exactly it happened during my pregnancy, but at some point I had to take off my wedding rings. I was furious and heartbroken. I remember crying and telling Jeremy that I was actually mad at Seth for making this happen. Because it was totally his fault, right? LOL Well, after Seth was born I immediately tried to put them back on and I'm sure you all know how well that went. After a couple weeks of trying I decided to just stop and wait a while. When I finally went to put them back on I realized that my wedding band had a crack in it! Thankfully it's under warranty, but I had to send it in and it's been gone for almost 2 months! While I've been wearing my engagement ring alone, it feels so amazing to have both rings back on my finger! I never got used to them not being there and I hope I never have to take them off again! 

(my favorite ring picture....following Jeremy to our future)

Our Christmas

We haven't been at our place for Christmas since we got married. We prefer it that way. If we only lived a couple hours away from family we would probably stay put for Christmas morning, especially now with Seth and then travel to family afterwards, but since we are so far away and Christmas falls right in the middle of Jeremy's two week break - it just makes sense for us to go to NY. I don't foresee that changing, but we will see : ) Anyways, we always wait until we get back to do our own little Christmas, so we woke up the following morning and went at it one last time!

Trying out his new toy : )

Jeremy felt like a "real dad" putting together Seth's toy

Phew! Two weeks into January and the Christmas celebrations are over : ) Don't worry - I still have a few more posts left before I run out of steam! 

Family

Getting to see our families is always such a blessing. I'm so thankful that they live close by to each other so that we don't have to pick who we are going to go visit. It's even more special with Seth in the picture! 

Until next time......