I'M BAAAAACK!!!!!

Due to unfortunate technical difficulties that I could not get figured out, my blogs from our October recap to our February recap are gone. I'm super sad that our first moments in our home are missing, especially our first Christmas, but I'm thankful I didn't lose more. So we move forward!

I can't believe how long it's been. In my last blog (which is now gone) I said that it took a year for January to end and then February flew by....yet little did we know what March had in store for us! I'm not sure why blogging has seemed like such a daunting task during this crazy time of life, but it has been the last thing on my list. Then the longer I waited it seemed like too much work to catch up on 😂 I think it will be easiest to cover all the big events we've had over our quarantine and then have some miscellaneous fun posts to fill in the gaps!

Our first big event that will also help explain our quarantine life.......

We were (and are) excited to be adding a 5th member to our family in November! Being pregnant during quarantine has been an adventure in and of itself, not to mention the rest of the chaos. It has not made things easy at all and I think the biggest factor to that is our history...

Jeremy and I experienced our first pregnancy loss in April of 2019. It was a pain that I never knew or ever even imagined. When you see the + on the test, you never think of losing that baby. Not until it happens. And then it sinks you. We were already facing and battling so much during that time so this was simply unimaginable and unbearable. That is, until we experienced it again in December of 2019. A second loss sent me into one of the darkest places I’ve ever been. I was numb and I had no hope or understanding. In February Jeremy and I got away for a night to go to a Mercy Me & Jeremy Camp concert. It was one of the most liberating experiences of my life and for no other explanation than the Lord, I came out on the other side. He stood by me, He waited for me and He turned our darkness into a beautiful rainbow.

Everything (of course) worked out as it was supposed to. When we got settled in NY I picked out the OB I wanted to have and we saw her for our loss in December. When I called the office during that time, I came in contact with someone that I went to high school with and she told me she was the nurse for a different doctor in the building who specialized in loss and infertility. She recommended that the next time we make an appointment with him. So that is just what we did. Because of his specialty, he started testing me right away, blood levels every week to monitor my hormones and when they started dropping, he put me on the medication needed to continue this pregnancy. If we had been with the original doctor I chose, she wouldn't have done any of that testing and who knows what the result would have been ❤ 

It's been weird not having Jeremy at appointments with me. Especially the first one. That was incredibly hard for me - and then of course the anatomy scan! The fear and anxiety, especially early on and then during the coronavirus craze, has been crippling at times, but we are incredibly thankful and blessed for our doctor and every milestone that we hit. I can't imagine anyone who has had to get difficult news while being stuck in an exam room alone. 

14 weeks

18 weeks

20 weeks

32 weeks

After a couple stubborn ultrasounds we were finally able to find out...

(the boys found out by squirting this canvas with paint filled squirt guns)

It's a GIRL! I was INCREDIBLY sick for the first 16 weeks, which was very different from the boys, but I didn't want to get my hopes up too high without proof 😂 Besides the fact that it's baby #3 for my body, I can say without a doubt that carrying a girl has been a completely different experience for me! I started to feel those rumbles around 18 weeks and now of course, Jeremy and the boys have been able to enjoy feeling them AND seeing them. Everything is measuring as it should be looking good so far! It still feels like we have so long to wait, but given that it's already the end of September and life is INSANE, I know it will fly by and we are SO excited to meet her! I tear up every time I imagine that moment we first lay eyes on her.