When did this happen...

When did I grow up,

and how do I make it STOP!?!?

Last week I found myself receiving bills.

Granted, I've been paying bills for years now. Car payment, car insurance, school loans, phone bill, etc. And being married has brought on even more, like rent, renters insurance, electric bill, etc. 

But these were different. 

These were unexpected. Or at least an unexpected amount.

These were bills from the hospital.

After I made phone calls upon phone calls to our insurance company, the hospital and a dozen others making sure I knew about each bill that was headed my way, I found myself with a huge headache. Where is this money going to come from and how to make sure this never happens again!? Which then led me into the terrible whirlwind of reading the most confusing book ever about our insurance and what it covers and what it doesn't cover. What do we pay for it? What would it cost us to upgrade? Would it really be worth it? What if we just switched to something different. What.....WHAT?!? Who is this person inside of me and where did she come from?!

First, I thank my parents who made me into the person I am, who isn't afraid to pick up the phone and call the necessary people to ask the necessary questions. I am so thankful for them.

While it would be awesome in many ways to still be there little girl, living in a carefree world with no responsibilities or worries, I then find myself thankful again. 

Thankful that when my head is pounding, my heart is racing and no matter what answers the person on the other end of the phone gives me, I still don't have the answers to make my head and heart stop panicking, that My God is right there. Thankful that in that moment when the panic turns me to the only place I really should ever go, that He puts that perfect song on the radio.

He heard me. He knows. He's got this.

And then, when I continually fail to get those voices in my head (yup, I got em) to shut up, I find myself thankful for being a grown up. I'm thankful for the responsibilities that I have and the challenges that I face.

Because being a grown up means I get to be married.

He makes me a better me. He challenges me. He reminds me of Truth when I lose sight. Being his wife is everything joyous and wonderful. And although I may be biased, I'm pretty darn sure that I have got the best catch a girl could ever wish for.

My life certainly isn't perfect and tomorrow you may see me put something on Facebook that will make you say, "Wait, didn't you just say yesterday....", but I'm thankful for it. Everything in it. Good and bad. 

God never said it would be easy, but He does promise to get us through anything that comes our way.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."